Okay, I've seen a lot of other people having these on their journals, and since we're fairly complex, we decided to make a general info post for our group. *Subject to change, letting you know*

( Cut to save your f-list... )

Went out on a walk in the snow. Oh, I've missed it so much. ..Not the being so cold you want to cut off your nose for running part, but I'd forgotten how lovely snow looked. Went around the neighborhood, listening to music, thinking... (done mostly by Ritchie. The rest of us were having fun.) Rings got a bit too cold, so he's inside now, having hot chocolate, I think. Paulie wants to go out and play soon, maybe having a snowball fight. I might do it. Some of the others seem interested now, too, and I'd like a chance to get to know them better. Haven't talked much with them.

Watched their show earlier. Made me laugh quite a bit, seeing how strange it is, but then when I compare it with our movies... guess I can't really talk. :P Going to play that internet game for a little longer (I'm getting just as addicted as Paul, now), and then we'll go out to play. Hoping to do some roleplaying tonight, or at least watch Ritchie do some. I'm curious. :3

~John

Things are going a lot better lately. My chest is still sore, but less so than yesterday. School went really well yesterday, and one thing made my day. Coming back from lunch, I'm walking by this one kid who turns to his friend and says in a low voice, "is that a guy or a girl?" That hasn't happened at school before, and I felt really good. :)
 
Last night was fun. We went to a party at dad's girlfriend's house. Lots of people were there... Joe and I hung out with the cats for a while, and I talked with a few people. ...It's starting to be confusing/worrysome for me, meeting new people, because I don't know what name I want to introduce myself as, or what gender I want people to see me as. When I'm with family, I really should go by Sarah, but it's irritating.

We got home around midnight, and I just fell right into bed. Got up a little over an hour ago, and there's snow everywhere. :D Still snowing, and we're supposed to get at least 6 inches, I think. Have a lot of work to do this weekend, mostly writing/language related. But John wants to play WoW a little (he's finally getting back into it), so we'll just hang out for a bit. See you guys later. :)

(Mentions minor girl-related problems, letting you know.)
I feel like SUCH an idiot today. The day started off all right- I was rushing, even though I had plenty of time- it felt like productive rushing. Was feeling good, could actually breathe... got to the bus stop... and realized I forgot to put a bra on. There wasn't time to go back and get one... so I went to school anyway. It was a shortened day (1:15 instead of 2:20), so I didn't think it'd be a problem.

I forgot I had gym. Jump rope, running, and volleyball. By the end of class, it was painful to breathe. At the time, wasn't sure why- thought I had a heart/lung/rib problem at first, because it only hurt over the left side of my chest, and only when I breathed in. It was painful to breathe for the rest of the day, and even though I'm home now, properly dressed, lying on my back, it still hurts like a bitch. (Pardon my language.) Like, hurts so bad I flopped down on the couch immediately with tears in my eyes, hurt. I didn't think small ones would hurt so bad. >.< Hope I didn't tear anything...?

Anyway, besides that, school went okay. I went to the French room today- got French 1 materials, and I'm going to study that course on my own so I can take French 2 next year, along with Spanish 4. (I'm annoyed I have to wait till next year for Spanish, but... meh.) Also showed my Spanish teacher a Beatles song I'd translated from English to Spanish, and she said it looked good. (Had to fix some minor things.) I'm really proud. :D

Just realized I'm going to have such a busy summer this year. I'm going to be studying both Spanish/French/hopefully Japanese at the tech school, I want to get a part-time job, and then there's all the personal stuff, like writing, socializing, and music. Hooray for things to do! -_-

*sigh* I'm gonna lie down for a bit and see if I feel any better. See you guys later.

,,,doing a normal post. Finally. :P

*sniff* Breathing's been hard today. We're back with the bunny, an' the medicine didn't start working until a few hours after we took it. (That's how it works, I know... but we rubbed our lip raw with tissues before we could breathe right. Hate allergies.) So we're a little sore, but overall good. Better'n being actually sick, y'know.

I got to sleep in with Geo today, but Ritchie got woken up by the rabbit pretty early- it got mad 'cause we hadn't fed it yet. (it's still strange sharing a name with him. Keep thinking 'm talking about me. *laughs*) That was lovely, and I started paying attention 'bout the time... we were gettin' our hair cut, I think. Shorter than usual, now, but about the length of mine...? I like it, but looking forward to it growing out jus' a little bit. Edges are a bit too perfect, and it doesn't quite "fit" right yet. *shrug*

Went shopping with the mother.. who's been in a kinda lousy mood- she had to go to the hospital to get her migraines checked out a few days ago, so I don' blame her, but it's awkward to be around her sometimes. Me an' Paul were switching places every couple minutes. :/

Didn't do much this afternoon- mostly just hung out with Geo while Paul played that internet game he likes so much. Ritchie's procrastinating from writing, though he got more done than he was expecting the last hour or so. He wants to finish this one "one-shot" so he can get back to the main fanfic and novel. (Ritchie: Though that's a bit of a dream by this point. Dunno WHEN I'm gonna get back to that until this fanfic's done.. -_-)

Listening to Spanish music at the moment- I don't understand much at all, but Ritchie and the lads are getting some of it, I think. ...and now John's dancing. Ah, love my friends. Gonna go join now, see if I can get Geo or the kids to dance with me. ;D I'll see you all later.

~Ringo

Well, things'v been busy lately. School's been utter misery, what with tests and boring classes, and the other kids, and the past two/three days I can't stop thinking about getting shot, and the paranoia's going to everybody else. *shiver* Just lovely. Not sure why it's bothering me so much- it's not *me* that died, an' I can't die that way now, even if I wanted to. It's like my second-cousin-three-universes-removed got killed and it's making me think it was me. Eh. It bothered Geo on his death-day, it can bother me on mine.

Anyroad, not what I'm focusing on here. Like I said, school's been misery. Ritchie keeps having these two kids try and set him up with this one boy who he really doesn't care for... ordinarily, he says, he'd just laugh it off, say no, and ignore'em. But they keep doing it, an' the one girl's trying to insist, saying that he's got to "take care of those sexual urges." ....First off, missy, y'don't know us very well, so isn't that being a bit presumptuous? (Paul: Not to mention completely inappropriate.) ...Well, I could care less about it being inappropriate. They're teenagers, they're bound to talk about it. Just... the least you can do is believe us, y'know. I wouldn't mind so much if it didn't feel like they were laughing at us. Why're they so insisting unless they're to get something out of it? So yeah, I'm getting a little pissed.

Gotta go an' finish getting ready for school now. Jus' wanted to check in, since it'd been a while since I'd written anything. *waves to everybody*

Last night was awesome. MYA was a small group, with people I knew really well, so I did a lot more talking. Brendan wasn't there, but that's okay. I probably was more social than I would have been if he'd been there. There were a few occasions where the mod called me Sarah and one of my friends said "she" once, but for the most part I got called by my preferred name, so I was happy. We did an activity where we wrote down things that "drove us crazy" and we got to rant about them. It was fun, and I made a few people laugh, which felt good. :)

The cafe was fun too. Got to talk about writing with two guys, and I think we're going to be emailing each other our stuff. Always love reading other peoples' work. :)

And finally, the end of the night felt awesome. I was walking back to the church from the cafe to wait for my dad, and I'm going by this group of guys on the corner. As I pass by, I hear one of them say "and that's a... chick- I can't tell." So that made the night.

Now I'm a little nervous.. I'm going to my first recital in two hours.. I'm not too worried about the drums one. I haven't been able to practice as much, no, but at least I don't have to sing anything. Then I have a few hours between that and the guitar one- probably going to go have something to eat. Scared about guitar. Have to sing. Hope I don't chicken out or screw up. >.< I'll probably tell you guys all about it when I get home. Until then, see you!

EDIT: The recitals went *beautifully.* I might have been the oldest or tied for that at the drums one, and the only female-bodied. It was a little embarrassing, having all the younger kids rocking out and doing complicated stuff while I'm playing simple little Beatles song (We can work it out), but... :P I was proud that I didn't mess up at all.

Went out for lunch after that, then hung out at mom's apartment until the next one. Was a LOT more freaked out for the guitar, since I was singing. Practiced that song countless times today, and it paid off. I sang and played, and apparently did awesome. I think my voice was kinda bleh and shaky, but my mom loved it. I'm just happy I didn't mess up too bad out of nerves. Sad my dad didn't get to see them, but... *shrug* It's been a good day. Let's hope things keep going well. :)

The doctor's confusing me, and I'm feeling a bit frustrated. Talked with her about recent developments on Tuesday, and I'm irritated because she still doesn't agree with me, and I'm not sure how to convince her. (At the same time, not quite sure why I need to convince her of anything, except for my sense of winning.. maybe it'd help my parents accept it if she agrees? *rolls eyes* I don't know.) I made sure to try and explain to her that what she thought I was talking about last time is NOT what I'm thinking. She thought, from what I've told her, that I'm just wanting to be a guy because I think I'll somehow gain abilities I don't have, or that things'll be easier.

UM. What? I *never* said that. ..Okay, maybe I think some things will be easier as a guy, but I know being a transguy will make things a bit harder for me. But I know that changing the body's sex is not going to change me as a person, and apart from wishing for more social skills, I don't want to change.

Then another thing was, I told her about going by the new name at mya, and changing my name on facebook. She's okay with it at mya, but she was asking why I changed it online. Am I trying to ask my friends to call me something different? And I told her that yeah, eventually I'd like them to call me Ritchie. I said I wouldn't make them do it if it bothered them, and I wouldn't ask for it anytime soon, but she didn't like that for some reason...

And she keeps going on about the body. I keep telling her, how am I supposed to know if I want it if I don't know what it's like? but she doesn't seem to consider that a valid argument. From what I'm hearing, unless I'm completely miserable, longing for the other body, having this impact every facet of my existence, it doesn't count. But what I'm trying to tell HER is, I don't want to be miserable about it, because it won't change anything. I don't see the point in longing after a body which I'm not gonna have- even if I ever decided on surgery, it won't be exactly like a real male. I'm choosing instead to desire the parts that I know will happen- if I take hormones, which I'm less scared of than surgery, I'll get a different voice, facial hair (though I think that'll squick me out for a little bit), and my periods will *stop.* (At least, I think so on that last one.) Why do I have to be miserable, if that's not going to help me? I don't even know how old I have to be to do anything.

But the thing is... the biggest sticking point is that she wonders why I feel I have to change anything. Why can't I just express myself as me? Well... I *can* talk, act, dress (for the most part) how I want, but that's not going to change how other people see me. I want other people to look at me and register me as male in their mind, and treat me as such. And even though I've had some success as I am, if I had just a little deeper voice and a binder, it would be an amazing help. If I was on hormones and had facial hair to shave, it'd be better still. I want to do *something*, but... I don't know how to get anywhere. I want to ask my dad about it, but he's been acting a little more uncomfortable this past month. (I know it's a weird thing to hear your daughter say, but... *sigh*)

And another thing that bothers me is that everybody (okay, just the adults, but you know what I mean) is asking me why I wanna be a guy. I don't know. I mean, there was the not liking being a girl, being a guy seems more attractive kind of thing, but more and more lately, people calling me a girl has been annoying and being called a guy is exciting.. (though that may just be because I'm fooling with people..) I keep having dreams I'm a guy, which is a little weird, but okay.. but at the same time- for example, I'll be talking to my rabbit, and I'll say "do you love your big sister?" or something along those lines. It feels a little wrong sometimes to say I'm a boy, or whenever I say my new name at mya.. I mean, obviously it's not the outward truth, but.. feels like I'm being "bad" sometimes. :/ But it just feels "right" to want to be a guy. Just fits better. I can tell stories of me pretending to be a boy when I was little- it's true, I did it, but I just never read more into it until I got to be a teen. Does that mean I don't count? Sex related things just never mattered to me, and especially not relating to my own body. If I don't want to make love to a woman as a man, am I not a guy? That's what *she* said. I say it's bull because I'm mad, but I don't really know. Just want someone to give me all the answers, y'know? So yeah. Feeling frustrated.

Happy birthday, Itsuki! :)
Should be doing my homework, should be writing... journaling instead. :P (Hey, I got my spanish homework done! Just... don't feel like doing math yet.)

Anyway, today went alright. Got out of school an hour early, which was nice... 'cept I had ortho this afternoon. Just got a new wire on the top, nothing fancy.. I'm getting impatient for them to put the bottom ones on, but... meh. In a month I go back, and then two weeks after *that* I get my bite plate. That's not gonna be fun, I don't think. :/

Then when I got home, I'd forgotten my brother had left for a doctor's appointment, so I was locked out of the apartment. Thankfully the people who run the place let me in, but that was really annoying. And now my teeth are feeling sore, but *only on one side!* Ugh... It'd been so long since we'd changed the wire, I'd forgotten.

On a happier note, we discovered something funny today. During gym, we're playing basketball. I don't feel like playing, and so I'm walking around the court, not really doing anything... and 'pon de replay' comes on the radio. Now, I like the song, but don't think too much of it- I can feel John cocking his head inside, listening. After a minute of him fidgeting, he finally comes out and starts playing/dancing a little bit to the music. I suppose he really liked it, because he made me listen to it on my ipod three times on the ride home. I find it a little bit funny, and can't keep from laughing out loud when he starts dancing, but I'm glad he's found something entertaining. Just hope he can keep quiet enough for me to get some writing done.

I guess that's the update for now. Gonna go finally do some work and hope that the hay allergies go down a little. See you guys later.

Yesterday was the strangest day I've had in a while. Started out very good- did all that writing I posted yesterday, did a lot of playing on the computer, was excited for MYA... and then the afternoon started going downhill.

I was all packed, dressed, and waiting for dad to finish his shower so we could go. I was watching my brothers playing with plastic weapons on top of the stairs, and decided to join in. It was a lot of fun, we were laughing, and then Joe pretends to throw his at me and I duck... and hit my face on the railing. I hear this kind of "clink" noise, which was really weird, and I'm on the ground with my hand over my face. Hurts a little bit, but not extremely so. My first thoughts were "yay, I'm not dead" and then "oh my god I'm gonna have a huge bruise." Boys ask if I'm okay, and by this point I'm laughing. Joe's joking around saying "look at all the blood," and suddenly I feel nervous. Finally take my hand away- and it's covered in blood.

We clean it up, put a band-aid on it, and head over to mom's. Apart from a short crying spell from seeing blood/worrying that I'd have to get stitches, I'm feeling fine. We're laughing about it all the way over. I don't show it to mom 'cause I'd rather go to MYA than get stitches... now I'm wondering if I should've done that.

MYA didn't go so great. Started off well- I liked how I looked, I knew most of the people there, and though it was a large group and I'm not usually fond of those, it seemed like it'd be okay. Brendan was there again, and I was determined to talk to him this time. Intros go by amazingly fast. During/before, I got a lot of waves, hugs, and comments about my eye (of course :P) and it was a lot of fun. Then we break to socialize for the last hour/fifteen minutes. That's the first bit of bad news.

Everyone breaks into little groups, and I'm still sitting in the corner where I was during intros. True, I know people, but they know each other better, and I feel bad about trying to interject in a conversation when I don't really know what they're talking about. Maybe it's better to stand with people silently than on your own silently, but... *shrug* I spent most of the next hour just sitting around... Tried to play a game with some people but they lost interest pretty fast and I was on my own again. Left to walk to the cafe- closed. Walk back to MYA and now miserable because it's freezing cold and I'm lonely. People are putting the chairs away and stuff, so I help, then get a lift to the nearby Starbucks where most of the kids went to. Still can't manage to talk to people. End up going outside because I felt like crying and ask dad if we can go home.

I'm waiting for dad, and something that really should have made me smile but just made me feel worse was when Brendan was leaving, he said goodbye to me- he remembered my name... and I felt like an idiot because I could have tried talking to him all night and he probably would have talked with me. Because I know I probably will try and find any excuse not to text him even though I really should... I really wish I were more outgoing. It's starting to piss me off.

So yeah, not feeling so hot today. I hope things get better.

I have no idea where this came from. I had a dream Tuesday night, it wouldn't leave me alone Wednesday, and so I started writing. Stayed up past midnight last night getting the bulk of this done. (6 handwritten pages in one sitting- it needed to be purged before I went to sleep.) It's a bit confusing, I think, but I hope you like it. It's very different from what I normally write.


( dream short story )

Last night was interesting. Dad took me to pick up his girlfriend from the train station (she'd been away this week) and we were going out to dinner with her and her son+his wife. Fun. Since I'm going out in public and like messing with people to see if they can tell if I'm a girl, I'm wearing fairly guyish outfit, but with pretty girly earrings. We pick her up, go to the restaurant, and then the other two people get there.

Twice in less than five minutes, the guy calls me "man." I'm laughing inside, trying to act normal on the outside. Feeling kind of good about it. Then my dad has to introduce me. >.< Forgot about that part. So then I was still trying to smile, look normal while thinking "damn, damn..." :P Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

Then my dad has to confuse me at the end. After dinner, we're heading out and he does the normal routine thing, asking if me/his girlfriend need to use the ladies room. He probably notices the face I make as I say no, and then says to me "or the guy's room?" I playfully stick out my tongue and keep going and he says "I'm trying to be sensitive", still in the friendly/joking tone. Now... I'm not *complaining* at him about it, but... I just feel a bit odd about the whole thing. (Wonder if he'll ever let me actually go by my male name out in public. Ooh, that'd be fun. Don't expect it anytime soon, but still would be fun. :P)
Anyway, just recording that as an interesting occurrence.

Been having the weirdest dreams lately- think they're going around. John was telling me this weekend how he was having dreams about getting shot- kind of scary, but I didn't think much of it. Then I had a pretty scary dream last night that really bothered me.

Me and a couple other kids from school... got abducted by aliens, I suppose is the best way to put it. We were in a building? of sorts and got experimented on- can't remember them in detail, but it was creepy... I remember being shut into lots of rooms- most of the time I was with this one girl who I think was my girlfriend, (I think her name began with a 'D'- maybe something along the lines of Dot but I can't remember) but then we eventually got separated. I was put into a room by myself, or maybe there were a few other people in there too, but I didn't know them, and I was looking at her out the door as they chose who to put in with me. I was begging for them to bring her in too, and they didn't... the door closed, locked, and I remember crying like crazy.

Then one of the kids, while we're all somewhere together, tells us we're actually near home, and so we start to plan an escape. We break out, and we're running down the hill near where my mom's apartment is- I stop and look back to see who's made it. Some kids are still coming, some are turning and walking back for some reason.. and I can't see "my" girl. Call her name a few times, still don't see her... get upset.

We're back at home, I get in my room, and I find out that we've been gone three weeks, but I thought it was two days. The first thing that comes to mind (kind of shamefully) is- "oh my god, how much schoolwork will I have to make up?" Then I feel guilty about the rabbit because I left the radio on in my room while I was gone and I hadn't taken care of her, and I hadn't gotten any writing plans done, and everything kept escalating until I was upset and crying again. (Then came a tip-off that should have made me realize it was a dream- the clock calendar said Nov 32. wtf???) I think the girl is back with me at this point, but it suddenly is less of a big deal.

I think there was more, but that's the main gist of it. Kind of disturbing- I was SO happy when I woke up and realized it was a dream. Sadly, probably because of the homework/writing part. But still... wonder why I dreamt that. Hope nobody else gets creepy dreams tonight. :/

Wow, we've been busy posters the last two days. Guess it's because we haven't got much to do here at the apartment. Did a drawing last night and put it up on deviantart today. Figured I'd put it on here too, because I like having my good art on here. :) I'm very proud of it.

http://bbjkrss.deviantart.com/art/Identity-143580630

Okay, all, just a (hopefully) quick post responding to last night. First off, thank you for the comments. I'm starting to get a lot of support for this lately, both on and offline, which is making me feel so much better. But I did want to say something. I haven't been entirely fair in explaining my therapist. Yeah, a lot of the time she and I disagree, and this is one of the many places, but I can at least understand her side this time.

Prior to suddenly coming and saying to her "I wanna be a guy" outright, I'd been talking with her periodically over the last year about relationships and other teenage things, and I had clearly gotten across to her that even though I wanted a relationship, the sexual part of things squicked me out and I didn't like being noticed as female. (Had some bad experiences when younger involving femaleness.) Over the year, my opinions/feelings about things have changed a little, and now I feel a bit more curious than scared/disgusted about things. True, when she first brought up "do you want to have... guy anatomy," my first reaction was making a face, but.. a) the words themselves are gross to me and I never say them, and b) I don't know anything about it, so I can't really make an honest answer.

But... even though I really have thought about this a lot and I'm pretty darn sure I'd rather be a guy, she doesn't know a lot of what I've been thinking/putting on here about it, and she probably still thinks I'm coming from the "sex is gross and I want to be more guyish so nobody looks at me that way because I'm a girl" direction. That I'm trying to suppress all sexuality instead of switching. So we might be trying to explain things better next time.

We've also been doing a lot of talking inside, and I think did some communication through dreams, and I realized something. This doesn't have to make me miserable. True, I'll probably feel frustrated/anxious about some things, but instead of getting depressed/ranting about it, why don't we just have fun with it? Stop thinking that I'm a screwed up person stuck in a girl body, and start thinking I'm just me facing some roadblocks to being who I want to be. And they can be overcome. Others've done it, why not me? Shouldn't force myself to be a gender stereotype, just act however I want and make it irrelevant, or at least not the be-all-and-end-all part of my identity. :) So yeah, feeling a lot better. Know it won't be perfect, but I'm pretty happy where we are right now.

Wow, this time yesterday, I felt utterly miserable and today I'm feeling so much better.
I've been feeling really lousy lately about the whole identity issue. I mean, there're a lot of things that're going well. I talked to my dad a little about it, and I've got him to say he'll think about me getting a binder. That's a step. I've come out to three friends, and I've gotten good reactions from them all. (Was really scared about one of them, but he took it really well.) But I'm still worrying. I can't help but get so anxious when I research things... been looking up what the risks of hormones and stuff are, and it all looks so scary. And the thing is, even if I had the courage to do all that, I still wouldn't be a real guy. Just a screwed-up female, in my mind. And if I don't do any of it, then I'll be, in my mind, a pretending girl, and no one's going to treat me any different, they'll just think I'm weird.

The therapist keeps saying that unless you want the entire body of the other gender, it's not really "real"... but I feel like it doesn't matter if I want anything if there's no chance of it happening. Easier to not want it and not get disappointed than long for something you're not going to get. At this point, just having no breasts and a mildly lower voice would make me really happy, 'cause then I'd pass longer- right now, it's pretty much until I open my mouth. (I mean, I'm lucky that I don't have a particularly feminine voice, but it goes up more often than I'd like.)

And I don't think I'd be quite as worried about all this if other people weren't involved. If it were just me, I think I'd be happy (at least for now) just looking like a guy and not actually doing anything. But maybe later on/if I want to get together with a guy... I'm afraid of being too girly in my actions/speech, and I know I've said this before and it's not true, but I feel like a gay guy's not gonna want to be in an intimate relationship with a female-bodied person. (even if they're bound, there're breasts. there's the.. female lower parts, not the male.) And it's making me scared of liking people because I don't want them to hate me for it. :/
I'm afraid this is going to turn into an emotional rant so I'm going to stop it here... but I think you can get the point that I'm scared.. it's pretty much all I'm thinking about, weighing pros and cons and what I want vs. what's possible... and I'm starting to fall into the "feeling trapped in a body I don't want" kinda feeling. :/ Hoping this'll get better, and that I can talk with my parents more about this soon.

(Ritchie: we're not actually sick like mood icon implies- we ate way too much this afternoon and then went on the bike for half an hour, so my stomach is cramping really badly. X_X we'll feel better in a little)

Did the color wars thing again in gym today. Ritchie was in a lousy mood for the morning (maybe he'll talk about that later) and so didn't really want to do anything- he took a break and I think slept inside while we did gym. He felt better afterwards, but the rest of us got annoyed. Our team didn't do well at all. Lost at the race on the scooters (might've won, but one person fell over and lost a lot of time getting back on track), lost *horribly* at tug-of-war, and at basketball shooting. We all tried a shot at that, but one of our better shooters got ran into- his glasses broke and they sent him down to the nurse to check for a concussion... so we had lousy players.

Only thing we won was something where we had to get two people to reach a piece of paper taped a few meters up on the wall- the tall one jumped on the other's shoulders and it was pretty easy- and then the rest of the group had to do what the paper said. We had to reach a small ball on top of the basketball net- again involved people climbing on each other's shoulders, and onto the actual net to reach the ball- we were afraid he would get hurt, but it seems most of the kids on our team are pretty fit. Fun to watch.

Other than that, we're pretty beat. Like Ritchie said, ate too much and then exercised- not a good match, I suppose. We're disappointed we didn't get to go to group tonight, but I'm not sure we'd be in the mood for socializing today. Going next week.
We'll try and get Ritchie to post about things this weekend- he hasn't been able to rant to his friends, so perhaps the journal's a good place to do it. ('e's feeling angry lately, an' we're thinking talking about it'll help.) Gonna go and rest now.

~Ringo

John and I had fun in gym today. We usually play basketball together every day, and we did, but he was much more competitive than usual. Cheated a few times. (Didn't think I'd notice? :P) But I think we ended up with a tie at the end, 7-7. I might've made one less, but I'll stick with the tie, since he probably made one of those when it wasn't his turn.

Gym was a bit different today. We had the normal running and warm ups, which John insisted on doing, and then we started what their teacher called "color wars." Half of the class had to wear red and half blue today, and they competed in different activities... There were a few relays which weren't too hard, and a "thumb-war" competition...? But the one that was the most fun was trying to build a human pyramid. Our group didn't win, but it was... interesting, to say the least, trying to balance on top of squirming people and have somebody climbing on your back at the same time. A lot of us took turns for the class, though I think John, Ritchie and I were out the most. I'm looking forward to going back on Friday. :)

Anyway, just wanted to put something short up before dinner. We'll see you all later.

~Paul

So we got a prompt on a soulbonding community to write about "a typical day in the life of your system." This is what we wrote. :)

 

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 So I'm sitting here in my room, rather nervous because I'm home alone at night, but that's not really the point. I'm trying to figure out what I should about something social-wise.

Okay, so I posted about mya and meeting Brendan and getting his number.. and I told dad about it. The past couple days I've been wondering if he's going to text me, and I'm telling myself to cut it out- I'm acting like a teenage girl, we don't know each other- why would he text me? But I want to get to know him... Dad says that it's a bit odd to ask for someone's number and then not text/call. I know... but I have no idea what I'd talk to him about. God, I hate feeling so awkward. *rubs face* I'll probably ask my friends about it tomorrow, but do any of you have any suggestions? (Yusuke: y'think just "what's up?" isn't perfectly fine? that's my vote- you're thinking too much.)
I don't want to make it look like I'm too eager/interested in him, 'cause that's a bit weird. Just want to be friendly. (And that sounds even *more* girly. *exasperated sigh*) :P You guys know what I mean, though? Any of you been through something like this?